10/22/2014

ELCA Members Raise Awareness of Suicide Prevention

CHICAGO (ELCA) – Since they lost their daughter, Terri Ann, to suicide in 1987, Jerry and Elsie Weyrauch, members of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA), have been motivated to help make a difference in the lives of those who are affected by suicide. They have spent the past 27 years working to raise awareness of suicide prevention and the issues that lead to suicidal behavior.

“There are no words that you can use. You can’t make it better; you can’t make it go away,” said Jerry Weyrauch. “You have to go through things. You can’t go around or under them. You have to go through them and you have to integrate them into your life and you become a new and different person.”

The couple, along with their four living children, vowed they would always be honest when talking about Terri Ann’s death.

“As our family gathered for the funeral, we had a family meeting and made the very conscious decision that we were not going to be slaves to a secret and that we were going to openly and honestly tell folks that Terri died by suicide,” said Weyrauch.

That openness about the nature of their daughter’s death inspired the Weyrauch family to advocate on behalf of other families affected by suicide.

“We want to identify survivors because many of them are like us in that when you wake up every morning you have what I call fire in the belly that is renewed each and every morning, that you’re going to do everything you can to make a difference. And that motivation in survivors of suicide is the kind of motivation we hope Christians have to follow the example of the Lord,” said Weyrauch.

“We made a commitment at that time that we were going to do all that we could to keep this from happening to other people,” he said. “And so I got involved in trying to figure out what was going on in suicide prevention.”

The Weyrauchs, members of Lutheran Church of the Resurrection in Marietta, Ga., formed the Suicide Prevention Action Network (SPAN), a national organization of suicide survivors. These grassroots advocacy efforts eventually led to the 2001 National Strategy for Suicide Prevention, a joint effort by the federal Office of the Surgeon General and the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention.

“Having worked in the public sector and made an achievement there, we felt that one of the largest populations that was untouched and represented an identifiable market segment was faith communities. We decided it was time to turn to trying our attention to engage the church in suicide prevention.”

In 2010 the Weyrauchs established the Lutheran Suicide Prevention Ministry, dedicated to implementing the ELCA social messages on suicide prevention and mental illness. The ministry’s mission is to reduce the number of people who die by suicide through awareness, education and advocacy actions that reduce the stigma of suicide.

In 1999 the ELCA Church Council adopted the “Message on Suicide Prevention” as a “call to members, congregations and affiliated institutions to learn more about suicide and its prevention in their communities, to ask what they can do and to work with others to prevent suicide.” Such social messages of the ELCA are documents on specific topics adopted by the ELCA Church Council to focus attention and action on timely, pressing matters of social concern to this church and society.

Reflecting on the adoption of the social message, the Rev. Cherlyne Beck, program director for ELCA disability ministries said, “There was recognition (in 1999) that it was important for the church to be a leader in talking about a subject that is often kept secret and considered shameful. Most important, it is an opportunity to move beyond the tragic brokenness of life to the news that can bring hope.”

Answering the call to learn more about suicide prevention, Community of the Living Spirit, an ELCA new-start congregation in Indianapolis, will co-host an event Nov. 8 as part of the city’s 2014 Spirit and Place Festival. The event will help shed light on the issues surrounding suicide and share ways to respond to people who may be at risk. Conversations will center on depression, addiction, suicide and mental health.

“I believe that following the example of Christ means that the church is called to be present in places of pain and despair. I can't think of a situation more painful and desperate than when someone is wrestling with whether or not to end his or her own life,” said the Rev. Carolyn Lesmeister, mission developer at Community of the Living Spirit.

“The sense of isolation that happens when you or someone you love is struggling with such things can be a significant barrier to healing,” said Lesmeister. “We wanted to create a space where such things could be talked about in a way that wasn't depressing.

“The church ought to be equipped to sit with people in their pain, to be present with them, to listen with love and compassion, and to speak a message of hope into the hopelessness,” she said.
Following the suicide of an ELCA pastor at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church in Muncie, Ind., Jerry Weyrauch met with the associate pastor and members of the congregation.

“That just hit me in the stomach. I never thought a pastor could complete a suicide,” said Weyrauch. “No one knows what to do.”

“I think very few people were prepared for it, except maybe his family and in some ways they had dealt with it for a long time, his own struggle, his turmoil,” said the Rev. William O. Gafkjen, bishop of the ELCA Indiana-Kentucky Synod. “But all the rest of us around him, I think, were really taken aback by what must have been the depths of his despair and struggle. I think on the whole we are not very well prepared.”

Gafkjen said his role as bishop was “to come up alongside both (the associate pastor) and the family, especially his wife and the congregation, all of whom were the survivors of this.”

During that time Gafkjen also met with clergy from other denominations in the area, all of whom were affected by the pastor’s suicide.

“Talking with them I realized just how ill-equipped many of us in professional ministry are for dealing with this,” said Gafkjen. “And yet, truth be told, I think many of us have come into contact with a family or a person who’s been affected by suicide.”

Gafkjen said honest answers about their pastor’s suicide helped the congregation of Holy Trinity in their healing process.

“The first thing that occurs to me is just finding ways to be honest and open about the fact that suicide happens among people who are faithful Christians,” he said. “And that seems to open the door to a whole lot of other forms of honesty and openness about our own feelings, senses of guilt and responsibility as well as theological questions, and even honesty about our own struggles that I think we have not been good about as a church.

“It just really struck me at that time how often we kind of brush this stuff into the shadows rather than dealing with it in the light,” said Gafkjen. “And (the pastor’s) family really led the way by bringing it into the light so that we could have open and honest conversations with each other about it.”

Gafkjen emphasized that honest discussions about suicide can help the church lay the groundwork for further questions, including questions about a suicide victim’s faithfulness.

“We can’t even begin to deal with those questions until we’re just honest about the fact that this does happen and it’s not any indication of unfaithfulness or whatever,” he said. “It has much more to do with the person’s health and inner world and all of that kind of stuff that they ultimately did not have any control over.

“How can we create a community that’s more supportive and open and doesn’t see this as a salvation question?” asked Gafkjen, adding, “It’s a question of health and well-being and community.”

“There’s a tendency to judge people who die by suicide, who attempt it, or who wrestle with suicide ideation – that they're weak or don't have enough faith in God, that if they just prayed hard enough, they wouldn't feel that way,” said Lesmeister.

“What the church can offer is a compassionate, loving, supportive community that can break through some of the isolation that is so common with depression and suicide,” she said. “People who can say, regularly, honestly, and with conviction, ‘You are beloved, by God and by us. Your presence matters, you matter. Please stay.’”
Information and resources are available at http://www.elca.org/en/Faith/Faith-and-Society/Social-Messages/Suicide-Prevention.