11/01/2025
Emotional Intelligence: The Secret Weapon for Career Coaches
By Heather N. Maietta
Effective guidance is not having all the answers or providing a one-size-fits-all plan. Well-meaning practitioners may provide valuable advice and resources to clients yet find that the client remains undecided and overwhelmed. Emotionally intelligent coaches meet clients where they are and tailor their approach to each individual’s needs.
Emotional Intelligence in Coaching
Emotional intelligence is a coach’s ability to understand and respond to a client’s emotions while staying aware of their own emotional reaction to the client (Salovey & Mayer, 1990). Think of it as a superpower for coaching conversations and a skill that coaches can develop through intentional practice.
For example, imagine a client saying, “I’m ready to pivot careers,” but their hesitant tone and folded arms tell a different story. A coach without EI skills might dive straight into solutions, prescribing steps or sharing success stories from other clients, without noticing the client’s apprehension. In contrast, an emotionally intelligent coach would pause and gently probe deeper. They might ask, “What feels challenging about making this change right now?” or “How confident do you feel about this decision?” Instead of rushing to fix the situation, the coach holds space for the client’s feelings. By listening beyond words and validating the client’s emotions, the coach helps uncover the real concerns hiding beneath the surface.
That’s EI in action: listening for what is not being said and inviting deeper exploration. Without emotional intelligence, even well-intentioned coaches can end up giving surface-level advice that misses the real issue.
Why Emotional Intelligence Matters
For career practitioners, developing emotional intelligence can make coaching more effective and rewarding. When clients feel heard and understood, they are more likely to trust the coaching process. The coach also becomes a more versatile practitioner who can adapt their approach to each client’s unique needs and emotional state. Over time, this leads to better client outcomes and more sustainable practices.
Honing EI skills also impacts clients, who invest significant time and effort seeking guidance. A coach high in EI empowers clients to uncover their own answers and take ownership of their decisions, rather than handing them generic solutions. Clients gain clarity when coaches offer tailored advice instead of overwhelming them with irrelevant or too-soon resources. Research indicates that coaches with higher emotional intelligence tend to see more positive outcomes with their clients (Menschy, 2024). Clients who feel understood and supported are more likely to act on and achieve their goals.
Four Ways to Practice Emotional Intelligence in Coaching
Emotional intelligence is built through small, intentional habits. Here are four practical ways to demonstrate EI during coaching sessions:
1. Master Active Listening: Give clients your full attention. Close your laptop, silence your phone, and truly focus on what they are saying. Resist the urge to formulate your response while they are talking. Instead, listen to understand. This presence shows clients their words matter and can reveal nuances you might otherwise miss.
Tech tip: Otter.ai
What is it: Record and transcribe coaching sessions (with client permission).
How to use it: Stay fully present during the conversation instead of taking notes. Revisit specific phrases or emotional cues to improve understanding and follow-up.
Why it works: When you are not scrambling to remember everything your client says verbally, you capture tone, pace, and hesitations.
No-tech alternative? Try a pen and a Post-it. Jot a single word when you absolutely must capture something. Then return to full attention.
2. Ask Thoughtful Questions: Good questions are gateways to deeper insight. Favor open-ended questions that encourage reflection, such as “What does success look like for you in this situation?” or “Can you walk me through how you felt when that happened?” Avoid stacked or multiple questions at once (e.g., “What’s your dream job, and what steps have you taken?”), which can overwhelm clients. A single, well-crafted question helps clients explore their thoughts without feeling pressured or confused.
Resource tip: “Career Coaching Fundamentals, Applications, and Future Directions” by Heather Maietta (2022)
What is it: A foundational coaching book on powerful questions, active listening, and presence.
How to use it: The resource breaks down different types of coaching questions (clarifying, deepening, forward moving) and explains when and why to use them.
Why it works: Having a curated list of questions and sample dialogs at your fingertips will give you tools to tackle various coaching scenarios.
3. Read Nonverbal Cues: Pay attention to body language and tone. Clients do not always verbalize what they feel, but their nonverbal signals can speak volumes. If you notice a shift—perhaps the client’s voice falters or they avert their eyes—gently acknowledge it. You might say, “I noticed you hesitated just now. What’s going through your mind?” These observations, offered without judgment, can lead to important breakthroughs.
Tech tip: Zoom’s recording playback feature
What is it: Record and replay feature for coaching sessions (with client permission).
How to use it: Replay to analyze facial expressions, pauses, tone shifts, body language, and micro-reactions to certain questions or topics.
Pro move: Watch once with sound, then once muted to pick up emotional shifts you missed in real time.
3. Embrace the Power of Pause: Silence can feel uncomfortable for coaches and clients alike, but insights often form during these moments. After asking a tough question or when a client seems deep in thought, resist filling the gap with more talk. Give them time to reflect and process. By embracing silence, you give clients space to arrive at deeper answers.
Tech tip: Visual timer (e.g., Time Timer app)
What is it: Visual countdown timer.
How to use it: Sit in silence for 10–30 seconds without jumping in. Especially powerful when you are practicing new coaching habits like asking a reflective question, letting the client think out loud, or holding space.
Pro move: During solo practice or peer coaching, set a 15-second countdown after your question and do not speak until it runs out. You will get used to the quiet, and so will your clients.
Secret Weapon for Success
Emotional intelligence can turn a good career practitioner into a great one. By tuning into emotions, coaches can enhance every aspect of their practice. Start with small steps like listening more intently or giving a client space to reflect. Over time, these habits become second nature and lead to more meaningful breakthroughs.
References
Maietta, H. N. (2022). Career coaching fundamentals, applications, and future directions. National Career Development Association.
Menschy, K. (2024). How to improve your emotional intelligence. Erickson Coaching International.
Ronad, P. H., & Mathias, S. (2021). Study of emotional intelligence (EQ) and life–stress in adolescent students from joint and nuclear families of Navi-Mumbai. International Journal of Indian Psychology, 9(2), 523–534.
Salovey, P. & Mayer, J. D. (1990). Emotional intelligence. Imagination, Cognition and Personality, 9(3), 185-211.
Dr. Heather N. Maietta is a Professor in the Higher Education Doctorate Program at Regis College. Her research focuses on developing career practitioners and the career needs of adults in transition. Heather is the owner of Career In Progress, a coaching firm dedicated to developing career practitioners’ knowledge and practice. She is also a Career Development Facilitator Instructor and the CMCS Commissioner on the NCDA Credentialing Commission. Heather received her doctorate in Higher Education Administration from Central Michigan University. In July 2025, she was awarded the Distinguished Alumni Achievement Award. She can be reached via LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/heathermaietta where she publishes career-related content daily.