05/14/2025

The One Word that Can Destroy a Friendship

It's immature, demeaning and disruptive

When Shari Leid was a teenager heading off to college, she proudly opted for a vanity plate on her Mazda 323 hatchback that was a shortened version of one of her most-deployed words: "Whatever."

Now, decades later, she has a different view of how dismissive it is to shut down a conversation with such a casually snide remark. It is, she’s found, the single word that can break even the strongest bonds—one she’s had to teach herself to stifle in the interest of maintaining healthy relationships.

The problem with ‘whatever’

"'Whatever' is a fighting word," said Leid, a friendship expert who is the author of books including The 50/50 Friendship Flow—and it's an immature one at that. "People stop and notice it," she said. "It's in-your-face, and there's something that feels demeaning to it."

Please select this link to read the complete article from TIME.